How To Deal?
I'm getting ready to deal with what I consider a big loss in my life. A very important person to me is leaving. This is a good thing and a bad thing, gotta love those double edged swords. It's bad in the way that it's always bad when someone you care about wont be around anymore. I have had my two sisters both move away, my best friend moved to Oregon, I moved away from a few other close friends in the mountains, and now I have one more to add to the books. It's good because, maybe with this loss I can finally stop being a pathetic mope and move along with my life.
It's always been hard for me to let go of people even when they have dragged my poor heart through the dirt. When Rae and I broke up I went through a range of emotion, starting with panic, progressing through to sadness, moving up to anger, digressing back down to depression. For someone I only dated two months he sure held a lot of power over my emotions. With the help of a few lovely friends I was able to kick my depression to the curb... I began going out on the weekends and working out 5 days a week and focusing on me. He stayed in my head though, I wont lie about that, whenever I was alone and had nothing on my mind sweet memories of us would intrude into my thoughts.
After a month of not communicating post-breakup, he texted me one Saturday afternoon to ask if it was too soon to ask how I'd been. Instead of responding and being a jerk or being a pathetic dope, I just ignored it for three days. On the fourth day we started communicating again. I found out he's moving to Kentucky to be with his ex in a few short weeks and he wanted to see me again before he leaves. Long story short, we hung out three times in about a week (Saturday, Thursday, Saturday). All those emotions that I'd tried to keep away started to creep back into my head. When we had dinner the first time it was awkward for me to look him in the eye and he stared at me the whole time. He insisted on a hug before we parted ways and having him hold me again made my heart so sad. We text each other at least once a day now and while I know that it's not the smartest move for me to be making, it doesn't feel right for him to leave without us developing some kind of friendship.
I've been getting a lot of flack for this. I'm one of those people that doesn't let go. If a friendship can be salvaged from a broken relationship I'm always willing to try. It's just who I've always been. The problem here is, he wants to force this friendship to happen a lot sooner than I'm used to. A girl needs a bit of a mourning period before she jumps right into hanging with her ex. I do want to be friends and I'm very sad that he's moving away but at the same time, I think this is going to be really good for me. Because now I can get back to focusing on bettering myself.
It's always been hard for me to let go of people even when they have dragged my poor heart through the dirt. When Rae and I broke up I went through a range of emotion, starting with panic, progressing through to sadness, moving up to anger, digressing back down to depression. For someone I only dated two months he sure held a lot of power over my emotions. With the help of a few lovely friends I was able to kick my depression to the curb... I began going out on the weekends and working out 5 days a week and focusing on me. He stayed in my head though, I wont lie about that, whenever I was alone and had nothing on my mind sweet memories of us would intrude into my thoughts.
After a month of not communicating post-breakup, he texted me one Saturday afternoon to ask if it was too soon to ask how I'd been. Instead of responding and being a jerk or being a pathetic dope, I just ignored it for three days. On the fourth day we started communicating again. I found out he's moving to Kentucky to be with his ex in a few short weeks and he wanted to see me again before he leaves. Long story short, we hung out three times in about a week (Saturday, Thursday, Saturday). All those emotions that I'd tried to keep away started to creep back into my head. When we had dinner the first time it was awkward for me to look him in the eye and he stared at me the whole time. He insisted on a hug before we parted ways and having him hold me again made my heart so sad. We text each other at least once a day now and while I know that it's not the smartest move for me to be making, it doesn't feel right for him to leave without us developing some kind of friendship.
I've been getting a lot of flack for this. I'm one of those people that doesn't let go. If a friendship can be salvaged from a broken relationship I'm always willing to try. It's just who I've always been. The problem here is, he wants to force this friendship to happen a lot sooner than I'm used to. A girl needs a bit of a mourning period before she jumps right into hanging with her ex. I do want to be friends and I'm very sad that he's moving away but at the same time, I think this is going to be really good for me. Because now I can get back to focusing on bettering myself.
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