Selfish
I was talking to an old friend the other day. She's now married, has no kids, lives at home with her parents, and is quite the hypochondriac. I used to see how many things we had in common and now I can't see any of that... I always stuck up for her when people said bad things about her inability to socialize and when they talked about how bad she was for the man she married. I understand that as we grow up we change and become new people and not all relationships can handle that. This is apparently one of those relationships. We never talk anymore and when we do it's always about how sick she is and what her husband is up to and I always have to either not mention anything about my life or throw it in as an aside comment about something she's talking about. It's fine, I understand, suprisingly enough. But something she said the other day really got under my skin and it's been itching to find a way out.
"Single Adults are so selfish."
This was in response to my comment about how happy I was that our church meeting times no longer overlap and it's so much easier to find parking now. How the two are related she never really said but after that comment I just kind of looked at her and asked for an explanation...afterall I AM a single adult. Her only reasons, and not very good ones, were that we aren't married, we don't have kids, we're just selfish because we don't have to worry about taking care of anyone else. Wow. Well first of all, yeah, we are selfish in that respect, I suppose. But in response to that I say, So What??
I am single. I like being single. This is the one time in my life where the only person I have to worry about is myself. As a kid it's acceptable to be selfish because you're a child and people are supposed to be taking care of you. As a parent/spouse, you have someone else's needs to attend to all the time. So why is it not okay, as a young person with no ties (aside from my immediate family), for me to be selfish? On a side note, I am not really a selfish person, I like helping other people, I'm the freaking Activities Committee Chair for the ward, so somehow I think having to plan all the activities and service projects for people who don't even come half the time makes me a little lower on the selfish single adult scale. But if I weren't into helping out other people or doing service, if I really were a selfish person and only thought about how the things I do day to day would affect my life and no one elses, why should that be a problem? I mean if I am the only person that I have to worry about taking care of, then I have every right to be selfish... Correct me if I'm wrong in thinking so. I think it's sad when it makes you feel better about your self to talk about how selfish other people are... I also think it's sad that you don't notice all the people that are married and do have kids, therefore having more of a reason to be selfless, but are so incredibly selfish, all they care about is money, clothes, cars and big fancy homes. So until married people are perfectly selfless, please don't complain about how selfish single people are.
"Single Adults are so selfish."
This was in response to my comment about how happy I was that our church meeting times no longer overlap and it's so much easier to find parking now. How the two are related she never really said but after that comment I just kind of looked at her and asked for an explanation...afterall I AM a single adult. Her only reasons, and not very good ones, were that we aren't married, we don't have kids, we're just selfish because we don't have to worry about taking care of anyone else. Wow. Well first of all, yeah, we are selfish in that respect, I suppose. But in response to that I say, So What??
I am single. I like being single. This is the one time in my life where the only person I have to worry about is myself. As a kid it's acceptable to be selfish because you're a child and people are supposed to be taking care of you. As a parent/spouse, you have someone else's needs to attend to all the time. So why is it not okay, as a young person with no ties (aside from my immediate family), for me to be selfish? On a side note, I am not really a selfish person, I like helping other people, I'm the freaking Activities Committee Chair for the ward, so somehow I think having to plan all the activities and service projects for people who don't even come half the time makes me a little lower on the selfish single adult scale. But if I weren't into helping out other people or doing service, if I really were a selfish person and only thought about how the things I do day to day would affect my life and no one elses, why should that be a problem? I mean if I am the only person that I have to worry about taking care of, then I have every right to be selfish... Correct me if I'm wrong in thinking so. I think it's sad when it makes you feel better about your self to talk about how selfish other people are... I also think it's sad that you don't notice all the people that are married and do have kids, therefore having more of a reason to be selfless, but are so incredibly selfish, all they care about is money, clothes, cars and big fancy homes. So until married people are perfectly selfless, please don't complain about how selfish single people are.
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