When lying becomes okay...

I was pretty disturbed by some "new love advice" that Women's Health Magazine offered it's readers. Under the sex and relationships section of their May2009 issue they had a page dedicated to revealing the shiny NEW relationship rules. Just to give you a clue as to what they're telling women to do to keep their relationships alive:

1. Conventional Wisdom: Don't have sex if you're not in the mood
New Rule: Getting Busy gets you in the mood.
2. Conventional Wisdom: You need to say "I love you" to each other every day
New Rule: Verbalizing feelings should be more than just a habit.
3. Conventional Wisdom: You should never fake an orgasm
New Rule: It's OK to pull off an Academy Award-Winning performance every once in a while.

Okay so I had no problem with these particular rule changes, they kind of make sense. I mean you really should express your love for your significant other not just use those three words, as far as not having sex if you're not in the mood... well shoot... I'm in the mood at the drop of a hat so I don't really know how to address that one, and let's face it women have been faking orgasms for YEARS. But the one "New Rule" they shared that I did NOT think appropriate was listed as follows...

Conventional Wisdom: If you cheat, you should confess.
New Rule: Honesty is not always the best policy.

"Cheating on your guy is almost always a selfish act- and so is telling him about it. 'Revealing an affair can be damaging to everyone involved,' says Robi Ludwig, Psy.D., a New York City-based psychotherapist. Sure, it might relieve your guilt short-term, but you have to weigh that against the consequences: Confessing an indiscretion can shatter your man's trust in you and make him feel inadequate and insecure. More often than not, it also results in an ugly breakup. So unless you get caught with your pants down, stay mum. 'If you're at a point where you can stop cheating and are ready to deal with the dissatisfaction in your relationship that likely caused you to stray, you may not need to burden your partner with your impulsive, regrettable choices,' Ludwig says." - Love and Sex Version 2.0 Women's Health May 2009 pg84

I beg your pardon? So it's better to lie to your loved one than to be "selfish" and tell them you were unfaithful? Wha?!?! No. I'm sorry but first of all it is never EVER okay to cheat on someone and second it's never EVER EVER okay to keep it to yourself. Doesn't that person deserve to make their own decision as to whether or not they should continue a relationship with someone who has cheated on them? I mean, I'd much rather know that the guy I was with was knockin boots with someone else so I could ditch his sorry ass, than be left in the dark and have to find out later from someone else. It's just as selfish to keep it to yourself as it is to tell the person. The very act of cheating is selfish so of course no matter how you look at it, Should I tell or keep it a secret, it's going to be selfish. It's selfish to tell your significant other that you cheated because it relieves your conscience but it's just as selfish to keep it from that person thus denying them their right to tell you to "F-Off you cheating prick"!

In the June issue of the same magazine I was glancing over the letters to the editor and saw one disgruntled reader's note:
"In the otherwise excellent article 'The Rise in Newlywed Cheating' (April 2009), the writer advises wives to peep at pron with their husbands as a way to "cheat proof" their marriages. Yet a mere three paragraphs earlier we learned that men under 35 were two and a quarter times as likely to cheat if they'd seen an X-rated movie. Seriously, do you not see the irony?"
In their defense the magazine says:
"The story warns that watching pornography alone is one risk factor for cheating. Watching porn together allows you to share a turn-on and takes away the sneaking-around element, which is healthy for your relationship."

Okay, seriously...this is where the breakdown of our society is occurring. When "therapists" and magazines tell people that it's okay to keep secrets from your spouse and hey if you watch porn together he's less likely to cheat on you. Never mind the fact that porn is addicting and he's not really gonna wait on you every time. If you tell your man it's okay to watch porn he's gonna watch it, rather you're there or not. It's not so much that porn is bad because he's gonna cheat on you if he watches it... pornography creates thoughts in peoples minds that should be reserved for their significant other (in my beliefs their spouse) only. Pornography is a form of adultery... you're having dirty thoughts about someone other than your spouse when you're watching it.
Check this out: Danger Ahead! Avoiding Pornography's Trap
It's not just something you do once in a while, porn is something that is addicting and telling your significant other that it's okay to watch porn by watching it with them is not helping them, it's validating an addiction as well as telling them you're okay with it.

I really like the health articles and fitness tips that this magazine offers, I didn't subscribe and I'm not paying for it so I'm not sure how I'm even getting the magazine, but if I keep seeing stuff like this I wont ever pay to get the magazine like I had been planning to do. It's just disturbing that they would tell people these things are okay.

Sounding Board:
Tell me what you think! Gentlemen and Lady readers, I really want to know your opinions on these issues so comment below.