I WANT MY LIFE BACK!

I recently watched the movie Mamma Mia... and regretted every second of it.

Let me start off with, I am by no means an Abba fan...which could be where the problem begins, but I was willing to give the movie a shot because while I'm not a huge fan I can tolerate their music. My roommate had ordered it off her Netflix and it was just sitting there on the TV and I was bored out of my mind, little did I know the situation was about to get worse.

The premise of this move/musical is that this girl is getting married and has no idea who her father is. In the search for her father she finds her mother's old diary and discovers that her mother doesn't know who her father is either because she was a bit of a hoochie mamma and slept around with three different guys within the same time frame. So she sends wedding invitations to all three men hoping that she'll just know who her father is when they get there...she doesn't. So the movie progresses with awkward musical number after awkward musical number and at the end of the movie she still has no idea which man is her father, she decides NOT to get married but still travel the world with her boyfriend/fiance/whatever you call him at this point, and her mother ends up getting married to the first man of the three she slept with all those many years ago.

If, after my lovely short summary of this awful movie, you think you still might be a fan let me describe all the awkwardness and freakishly strange musical scenes. The mother's best friends are these crazy cougars (well at least one is) and they dance around and sing in their old lady voices about how they're dancing queens. The mother dances around singing the Mamma Mia tune that the musical is named for and the whole time she's rolling around and trying to fight her urge to peak in on the men her daughter was trying to hide from her. She looks absolutely ridiculous. The wierder part is that the whole time she's singing the entire island follows her around dancing and singing behind her... I mean I guess that's what happens in musicals but it's just weird when you're rolling around on the roof of your goat house all alone and then suddenly the whole town is creeping up the side of the building and watching you. TOO WEIRD! And I'm sorry but Colin Firth was just not believeable as a gay man. After it was over all I could think was...I want that hour and 48 minutes of my life back!!!!!!!