Fast Forward

Lately I feel like my brain is on fast forward. I just can't get all the thoughts in my head to slooooooow down. I want a new job and I've applied for two in a different area than Raleigh and so I'm jumping the gun and looking at houses to buy when I know that I can't even buy a house unless my parents get the amount of money for their house that they're hoping to get and then there's a chance they could make a down payment on a cheap-o house for me. See... I'm way ahead of myself there. I'm not sleeping well at night, but this time it's not my back, nope... it's my brain. Right before I go to bed I start thinking about all the things I want to do, but not just tomorrow, two and three weeks from now! It's freaking rediculous.

At church Sunday we had committee meetings and the meeting I was in they were talking about doing something for kids. I had a brilliant idea the other night in my sleepless thoughts. Most of you know how fashion obsessed I've become as of late, I would love to have a charity fashion show! Here's the kicker though... we get special kids to do the modeling and have several kids stores donate the clothes and find somewhere to donate a catwalk type thing/place and then we charge $5.00 a ticket for people to come watch these kids in their fashion show. And for participating in the show the kids would get to keep the outfit they modeled and then the proceeds off the ticket sales would be donated to some sort of Children's charity. All this came rushing into my head at about 11pm as I was desperatly trying to fall asleep. It's so frustrating. My art used to be this way as well. If I couldn't sleep at night I'd pull out my sketch book and just start drawing things... actually that's when the best ideas would come to my mind.

This isn't something that happens ALL the time, just once in a while. I'll have these moments for like a week or two where stuff just keeps swirling around in my brain preventing me from getting any sleep at all and I come up with some really interesting ideas, my fashion blog... came to me in one of these moments as well. While it's less painful than sleep loss because of back pain, it's no less frustrating because I have to get up and go to my dead boring job every day and it's hard enough to wake up after good sleep and go to work, but it's about a million times worse to try and get up and go to work when I've had next to no sleep at all. Maybe tonight will be better.