Reading
I am a book lover.
I have been reading since I was old enough to do so and as a kid read on a pretty high reading level. As an adult for some reason though, I tend to read more youth oriented novels. I think my preference here is directly linked to how much I enjoy young exciting fiction. Anyway, When I read I am transported into the world the author has conveyed upon the pages. Lately as I read I've been feeling severely strong emotions linked to the emotions of the character.
Don't Judge.
I've been reading New Moon.
Don't JUDGE. ;-)
I began re-reading the twilight series before my breakup. I was not even thinking about New Moon's plot when I packed it into my Duffle bag and brought it with me to Colorado for reading. When I got to the part where Edward leaves Bella in the woods...Her anguish and pain were mine. Laying in the woods devastated, feeling like a zombie, her heart being torn from her chest and ripped in two, feeling like she had to hold the hole in her chest together with her own two arms whenever her thoughts trailed towards the man who had left her.....
If you have ever read this novel you know exactly how the pain is described.
This is how I have felt since being left behind. Escaping to Colorado to "heal" and spend time with family, it has only put my pain on hold. When I'm around everyone all day and keeping busy with my niece, nephew and work I don't have time to think but as soon as I go to my room and lay down at night the pain returns. Devastation rears it's ugly head and I can't help but curl into a ball of anguish and lie there wishing I could be numb and feel nothing ever again.
Sorry to be so dramatic.
I really wanted to express how well written I feel this book is. I know so many critics out there put down these novels as juvenile literature, the characters are weak, the main person being a pathetic teenage girl who is no example for anyone to live up to...but as a female in pain, Stephenie Meyer's writing honestly describes the torment I am experiencing so well that I feel the pain as I'm reading. Maybe it would be wise to wait a while before attempting to complete the book, but sometimes I feel it's better to face the pain and ride it out to the bitter end until I come up victorious and ready to move on with my life.
**I've been contemplating whether or not I should post this particular blog for a few days now. I keep going back and forth between "it displays too much personal emotion" and "whatever it's my freaking blog"... I ended with this thought, I started this to share my personal thoughts and feelings with friends and others who might stumble across it. This is how I feel right now, this is where I've been in the past and I'm sure many of you have been here too...just another day in the life**
I have been reading since I was old enough to do so and as a kid read on a pretty high reading level. As an adult for some reason though, I tend to read more youth oriented novels. I think my preference here is directly linked to how much I enjoy young exciting fiction. Anyway, When I read I am transported into the world the author has conveyed upon the pages. Lately as I read I've been feeling severely strong emotions linked to the emotions of the character.
Don't Judge.
I've been reading New Moon.
Don't JUDGE. ;-)
I began re-reading the twilight series before my breakup. I was not even thinking about New Moon's plot when I packed it into my Duffle bag and brought it with me to Colorado for reading. When I got to the part where Edward leaves Bella in the woods...Her anguish and pain were mine. Laying in the woods devastated, feeling like a zombie, her heart being torn from her chest and ripped in two, feeling like she had to hold the hole in her chest together with her own two arms whenever her thoughts trailed towards the man who had left her.....
If you have ever read this novel you know exactly how the pain is described.
This is how I have felt since being left behind. Escaping to Colorado to "heal" and spend time with family, it has only put my pain on hold. When I'm around everyone all day and keeping busy with my niece, nephew and work I don't have time to think but as soon as I go to my room and lay down at night the pain returns. Devastation rears it's ugly head and I can't help but curl into a ball of anguish and lie there wishing I could be numb and feel nothing ever again.
Sorry to be so dramatic.
I really wanted to express how well written I feel this book is. I know so many critics out there put down these novels as juvenile literature, the characters are weak, the main person being a pathetic teenage girl who is no example for anyone to live up to...but as a female in pain, Stephenie Meyer's writing honestly describes the torment I am experiencing so well that I feel the pain as I'm reading. Maybe it would be wise to wait a while before attempting to complete the book, but sometimes I feel it's better to face the pain and ride it out to the bitter end until I come up victorious and ready to move on with my life.
**I've been contemplating whether or not I should post this particular blog for a few days now. I keep going back and forth between "it displays too much personal emotion" and "whatever it's my freaking blog"... I ended with this thought, I started this to share my personal thoughts and feelings with friends and others who might stumble across it. This is how I feel right now, this is where I've been in the past and I'm sure many of you have been here too...just another day in the life**
4 Share The Love:
Speaking of no judgement, do you watch Hart of Dixie? (Seriously spilling a guilty pleasure right now). If you don't watch it you won't get what I'm saying, but if you do, I just watched the episode where the lead guy just saw his fiance cheat on him, and then he was stuck in the denial stage - and the main girl was trying to move him closer to the anger stage. Anyway, embrace whatever stage you're in now but don't let it destroy you. Maybe you should start re-reading the Hunger Games to change your sorrow to anger. :)
Claire! You are awesome!! :D I love that show and thank you. I've actually never read the Hunger Games haha, I've been meaning to go by the used book store and pick up copies of all three books in the series. Perhaps this is a perfect opportunity to do so. And thank you for that piece of advice...I'm trying so very hard not to let it destroy me. This particular go round has been a lot tougher than most but I'm still surviving.
Ah! Emotions are a bitch sometimes, aren't they? Gosh, I know what you are talking about. And while a breakup is a heck of a lot more painful than most things, I feel like with any emotional trauma, you can come to this place where you can sort of step back and examine the emotion. You can separate yourself from it, but you can't stop feeling it which can be awful. And as for putting the pain on hold, I think you are mistaken that you are just putting it off. Time really does make a difference. It's not gonna patch you up 100%, but it will be a little duller when you get back. Spending time with your fam is good to remind you that there are other things worth living for. You have done the right thing for yourself in my opinion.
And finally, I can see that you are feeling the character in New Moon but considering the end, maybe you shouldn't finish it right now? We don't need you taking away the wrong lesson, yeah? I'm with Claire. Although, might I suggest another Stephanie Meyer book which is EONS better than Twilight? The Host! I LOVED it!
Thanks Rachel! HAHAHA, don't worry regardless of finishing the book I'm at that point in my life that I'm aware that just because in the movies and books they always end with the characters getting back together and living happily ever...whatever...I know it doesn't always work that way and sometimes it really is for the best. And The Host was an excellent book! I don't own that one yet though, adding it to my list of books to go purchase when I get back to Wilmington.
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